My knee is bothering me. I cannot define it any more specifically than that. My dr. says tendons and ligaments feel fine - so it's just inflammation in the cushioning surrounding the knee.
It hurts when I drive (it's my right knee).
I had visions of starting C25K but I obviously can't. My dr. says to do low-impact (for me, that is swimming) stuff for a while until it doesn't bother me anymore. I ice it when it does bother me (breaststroke kick actually bothers it a little).
I am trying REALLY hard not to let this derail me. I really am. I am just so competitive and to be sidelined when I had such a good momentum going is hard to deal with. I am not good when faced with challenges like this. I have a give-up reflex.
Add to this life-related stress like trying to decide whether to go to work full-time or stay on my self-employed path (which means I'll have to actually LAUNCH my business instead of just talking about it - eek) and I am just in a rut.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
A numbers game
Losing weight and getting in shape is very much a numbers game. Being a math person, I am okay with this. At times I know that I over-obsess. But it makes me happy to see progress in the numbers. If I had good software that I knew how to use (see - I probably do have some software that might do it, but clearly I wouldn't know how to use it since I don't even know it's there) I would make graphs for you. But instead I just type them out.
In July 2009, I felt the best I had felt since before having kids. I was in great shape. I could see the 170's on the horizon. Then life happened.
At my peak in July 2009, these were my numbers:
36 push-ups (11 real, 25 on my knees)
Weight: 189
Arms: 13.25”
Thighs: 25”
Calves: 16”
Waist: 35”
Hip: 44”
These were my numbers yesterday:
22 push-ups (10 real, 12 on my knees)
Weight: 196
Arms: 14”
Thighs: 25”
Calves: 16”
Waist: 36”
Hips: 45”
Belly: 44”
So I am only 2.75" and 7 pounds away from where I was then. For 2 years I have said, "Oh, if I could only feel the way I felt in July 2009." I can say that even though the numbers aren't quite there, I already feel that way. I might even feel better now than I did then, because I went through the 2 year hiatus and as a result I am more resolved to make changes that can be sustained.
It is so cliche', but IT IS A LIFESTYLE CHANGE. So true.
In July 2009, I felt the best I had felt since before having kids. I was in great shape. I could see the 170's on the horizon. Then life happened.
At my peak in July 2009, these were my numbers:
36 push-ups (11 real, 25 on my knees)
Weight: 189
Arms: 13.25”
Thighs: 25”
Calves: 16”
Waist: 35”
Hip: 44”
These were my numbers yesterday:
22 push-ups (10 real, 12 on my knees)
Weight: 196
Arms: 14”
Thighs: 25”
Calves: 16”
Waist: 36”
Hips: 45”
Belly: 44”
So I am only 2.75" and 7 pounds away from where I was then. For 2 years I have said, "Oh, if I could only feel the way I felt in July 2009." I can say that even though the numbers aren't quite there, I already feel that way. I might even feel better now than I did then, because I went through the 2 year hiatus and as a result I am more resolved to make changes that can be sustained.
It is so cliche', but IT IS A LIFESTYLE CHANGE. So true.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Wednesday Weigh-In
Last week's weight: 196
Today's weight: 196
NO CHANGE.
Okay, I would say that I have hit a wall here, BUT it is still my time of the month when things don't move as much scale-wise. In fact, I think tomorrow will be the day I see a dramatic loss. Not much has changed, although I do think I have been a tad bit lazier with my food diary. This week I am on my own with the kids, and it's been much harder to manage my food along with everything else.
The biggest thing is that I really don't care that much about what the scale says right now. I am loving strength training again, seeing more definition and I definitely see inches going away. All in good time the numbers will move.
I plan on getting a good grocery store visit in tomorrow morning while my youngest is with her nannie - I'll get my meals planned out for a few days and feel better about everything.
Today's weight: 196
NO CHANGE.
Okay, I would say that I have hit a wall here, BUT it is still my time of the month when things don't move as much scale-wise. In fact, I think tomorrow will be the day I see a dramatic loss. Not much has changed, although I do think I have been a tad bit lazier with my food diary. This week I am on my own with the kids, and it's been much harder to manage my food along with everything else.
The biggest thing is that I really don't care that much about what the scale says right now. I am loving strength training again, seeing more definition and I definitely see inches going away. All in good time the numbers will move.
I plan on getting a good grocery store visit in tomorrow morning while my youngest is with her nannie - I'll get my meals planned out for a few days and feel better about everything.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Slowing Down
Over the past 3-4 months, I have been privileged to form a relationship with a Christian counselor. After my surrender in May to my depression, I knew that medication wasn't the only thing I needed. I sought a counselor with a Christian worldview so that scripture and prayer could be a part of my journey.
She has been a huge blessing in my life. Yesterday marked my final "regular" session. I have scheduled a session one month from now to check in (because I am aware that I don't want to be complacent about my recovery), but we were both rejoicing yesterday in just how far I have come.
One of the most poignant things that she said to me was a commentary on this popular passage in Jeremiah, Chapter 29:
10 This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
She discussed how depression represents my captivity, and that, while the Lord has brought me out of captivity - He reserves a spot in the future where he will bring me back to that place again - not necessarily back to be depressed again, but back such that I can see where I was and it won't hurt anymore.
God is with us in the pit. He uses all for the good of those who love Him. And He doesn't want me to forget that place He brought me out of. Yesterday was about revisiting that place, and discovering that it truly doesn't hurt anymore. I am stronger than yesterday (thanks, britney spears for the motto) and I'll be stronger still tomorrow. Through His mercy, by His grace. For His glory.
She has been a huge blessing in my life. Yesterday marked my final "regular" session. I have scheduled a session one month from now to check in (because I am aware that I don't want to be complacent about my recovery), but we were both rejoicing yesterday in just how far I have come.
One of the most poignant things that she said to me was a commentary on this popular passage in Jeremiah, Chapter 29:
10 This is what the LORD says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”
She discussed how depression represents my captivity, and that, while the Lord has brought me out of captivity - He reserves a spot in the future where he will bring me back to that place again - not necessarily back to be depressed again, but back such that I can see where I was and it won't hurt anymore.
God is with us in the pit. He uses all for the good of those who love Him. And He doesn't want me to forget that place He brought me out of. Yesterday was about revisiting that place, and discovering that it truly doesn't hurt anymore. I am stronger than yesterday (thanks, britney spears for the motto) and I'll be stronger still tomorrow. Through His mercy, by His grace. For His glory.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Weekly Weigh-In 9/7/11
Last week's weight: 196.5
Today's weight: 196
Loss of 1/2 a pound!
I will take it. I will chalk it up to hormones, a few eating blips over the weekend, and not doing my protein-rich breakfasts every day.
Things are going so well in the health and fitness realm of my life. I am thankful because things are still so uncertain and stressful in almost every other area of my life. My mom heard me registering for body pump this morning and she said in the background "she's obsessed, she's obsessed." It might seem that way from the outside looking in, but exercise truly gives me joy right now and I am not apologizing for making it a top priority.
I am even looking into teaching a few classes that I am sad my Y doesn't offer. One characteristic of myself that I can't seem to shake is that I habitually come in to new situations, see things that need fixing, and step up to the plate to fix them. It often means I take way too much on my plate, burn out, and then resent said responsibilities. With this, though, I am thinking that I need to get a little income coming in so this will fill a few different roles in my life.
This blog is BORING. So sorry - I just don't have time to do the blogging I want to do in my head. The day just flies by now that my older two are in school.
Today's weight: 196
Loss of 1/2 a pound!
I will take it. I will chalk it up to hormones, a few eating blips over the weekend, and not doing my protein-rich breakfasts every day.
Things are going so well in the health and fitness realm of my life. I am thankful because things are still so uncertain and stressful in almost every other area of my life. My mom heard me registering for body pump this morning and she said in the background "she's obsessed, she's obsessed." It might seem that way from the outside looking in, but exercise truly gives me joy right now and I am not apologizing for making it a top priority.
I am even looking into teaching a few classes that I am sad my Y doesn't offer. One characteristic of myself that I can't seem to shake is that I habitually come in to new situations, see things that need fixing, and step up to the plate to fix them. It often means I take way too much on my plate, burn out, and then resent said responsibilities. With this, though, I am thinking that I need to get a little income coming in so this will fill a few different roles in my life.
This blog is BORING. So sorry - I just don't have time to do the blogging I want to do in my head. The day just flies by now that my older two are in school.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Weekly Weigh-In August 31
So it's been 2 weeks since my last weekly weigh-in post. Last week it was the first day of school and I didn't have time to weigh that morning. Hating to try to estimate by weighing later in the day, I just decided to stay off the scale until this week. I was pleasantly surprised at this week's number.
Weight on August 17, 2011: 201.5
Today's Weight: 196.5
Lost of 5 pounds in two weeks.
Pretty good. I had been stalled so close to 200 for a while, so I am not surprised to see this much weight drop. I definitely have a pattern with weight loss in regards to my hormonal cycle. I often stall during the two weeks before and during my period, then I drop several pounds almost immediately after.
I have been doing body pump class for the past two weeks. I was afraid that getting back into regular strength training would slow down the loss, but apparently not! I go to body pump class at 5:30 am on Tuesday/Thursday mornings. I must really LOVE that class if I am willing to get up that early consistently. I DO really love that class. I always feel GREAT afterwards, and I truly enjoy pushing myself. I look forward to seeing the definition start showing.
I have to say, too, that Turbo Fire is a GREAT program. The workouts kick butt. What I LOVE about them is that they are great for conditioning -- I can totally see improvement weekly in my endurance -- but my abs are starting to whittle and I haven't done many crunches (until starting body pump I didn't do any crunches). I know it's the moves in the TF kickboxing combos. I love the idea of getting abs without crunches, so I 'll take it! I don't expect to have a 6-pack ever, but having that definition start to show at this weight is really encouraging!
All in all, I would say I have settled into a healthy routine. I make more healthy food choices than not - I have another post in mind about what I have learned about eating so far. I don't even consider going a day without some kind of exercise - even on rest days I do a bike ride with the kids or an easy walk. I drink water pretty much exclusively - occasionally a little tea or coffee.
It feels good to be in this place again. I feel unstoppable.
Weight on August 17, 2011: 201.5
Today's Weight: 196.5
Lost of 5 pounds in two weeks.
Pretty good. I had been stalled so close to 200 for a while, so I am not surprised to see this much weight drop. I definitely have a pattern with weight loss in regards to my hormonal cycle. I often stall during the two weeks before and during my period, then I drop several pounds almost immediately after.
I have been doing body pump class for the past two weeks. I was afraid that getting back into regular strength training would slow down the loss, but apparently not! I go to body pump class at 5:30 am on Tuesday/Thursday mornings. I must really LOVE that class if I am willing to get up that early consistently. I DO really love that class. I always feel GREAT afterwards, and I truly enjoy pushing myself. I look forward to seeing the definition start showing.
I have to say, too, that Turbo Fire is a GREAT program. The workouts kick butt. What I LOVE about them is that they are great for conditioning -- I can totally see improvement weekly in my endurance -- but my abs are starting to whittle and I haven't done many crunches (until starting body pump I didn't do any crunches). I know it's the moves in the TF kickboxing combos. I love the idea of getting abs without crunches, so I 'll take it! I don't expect to have a 6-pack ever, but having that definition start to show at this weight is really encouraging!
All in all, I would say I have settled into a healthy routine. I make more healthy food choices than not - I have another post in mind about what I have learned about eating so far. I don't even consider going a day without some kind of exercise - even on rest days I do a bike ride with the kids or an easy walk. I drink water pretty much exclusively - occasionally a little tea or coffee.
It feels good to be in this place again. I feel unstoppable.
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