We are in the middle of a busy, busy time. We are slowly moving into our rental home, I am finishing up the school year, school is out for the older two kids. J. is looking for a job in our new town - he has a couple of promising interviews tomorrow and hopefully there will be a "next step" for him soon.
Last night, while we relaxed in our 10x10 air-conditioned haven (we put a window unit in our guest bedroom because BOTH of our HVAC units died recently - perfect time for a move) we talked for a while about what we each want out of this next phase in life.
Our next phase is framed by trying to recover financially from about five+ years of bad decisions AND from the past year of living on one real salary. It includes a goal of getting our family of five back into a happy place - that will require deepening our transition to a two-parent working family. It includes investing in home again now that we have a place to call home.
I asked him what he wanted to come out of this transition. He wants to teach. We are working towards getting that to be a reality. What that means for me is that I also will teach. We are not in a place right now to even attempt living on one teacher's salary. My dreams of possibly working part-time and maybe even homeschooling pretty much have to be back-burnered.
We have a lot of other decisions to make about where the children will spend their days over the next year. I am trying to figure out how to make God the God of all these details. I am trying to figure out how to mesh all the things I believe so strongly about family relationships, about education, about child-rearing, about my role in our family. . . I have no idea how those values will be compromised and stretched to work together.
I am trying to remain optimistic and believe that instead of "what if" this is a "what will He do" kind of a dilemma. Praying hard that answers come soon. . . looking forward to a new chapter.
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